Maybe I’m being an oxymoron when I say to you let’s share “me time”.
It can be so hard to schedule “me time”. With all demands from all sides, work, family, friends, there just never seems to be the space in the daily diary.
I get it. Running two successful businesses, I am also a mother, a wife, a grandmother, a confidant, a lover, and a carer, all takes up valuable time.
I’ve made a start on making it work for me by discovering that “me time” can be shared time, and this came about by changing my mindset.
What is our mindset? It’s our attitude rules. When we see or hear something, we have a thought process, a set of rules that goes with that task and event. These rules can be called our learned responses.
Take safe-care. It’s about looking after myself, but is it about being on my own? Maybe it’s NOT about being on my own, for self-care is an activity that we do to deliver, deliberately deliver a way of caring for our physical, mental, and social health.
It’s about feeling good about ourselves and then in turn feeling good about others.
Now, “me time”, it’s just one component of self-care. “Me time” is the time we take as part of our self-care regime, where we ask the how, what, where, why, and when, things affect me. That’s when I attend to me. I attend just to me, and my thoughts, and my feelings.
Have you considered that if you were to take on this new mindset about self-care, things could be different?
“Okay family, let’s go on a picnic. Let’s chuck in the cricket gear. Let’s go out and have a picnic in the sun, in the beautiful weather. We’ll play a game of cricket and run and laugh and be together.
Hey Guys, you know why we’re doing this? Not only do we like each other’s company, but we want to develop some good self- care – that’s looking after ourselves.”
As the family starts working on this idea, as they start developing ways that they can look after themselves but also stay together. You never know, they might start thinking for themselves!
“Hey guys, let’s go down the beach for a walk.
Let’s go fishing.
Let’s go walking in the park and looking at the new flowers that have just come out.”
What do you think will happen when they start to think of their own self-care and organise activities together?
When they go for a walk on a beach there may be a beautiful rock that you could sit on and you know that those around you are looking after themselves.
That’s a time where you can sit and have some “me time”.
The guilt of taking “me time” is gone because they’re doing their self-care, they’re looking after themselves.
As you can sit on that rock or walk, and just breathe, it is time to be mindful. To consider your thoughts and feelings, then breathe, look around you and notice, and breathe, to allow each one of your senses to recognise your environment, and breathe.
With this clear mind, its time to organise and focus on what you need to be the best you.
Yes at times, it might be a candle-lit bubble bath. It might be a cooking class. It might be going on a holiday with your family but making sure that you pick somewhere in the holiday, that there is one part of that holiday that they understand, this is your shared time.
“Hey Family, this is my part. You guys need to come along with me because I’m really going to enjoy it.”
Of course, there will be activities for all the family and sometimes not everyone is going to feel it’s their thing. Just work on the mindset, tell yourself it’s a good trade off, smile and guess what? You may just enjoy the moment as well.
How do we start to all look after ourselves as a family, organisation and community?
I think it’s about having a conversation, about enjoying things, looking after yourself, and becoming a community of self-carers that, in turn, makes a community healthier.
As I chatted, I’ve suggested a few ideas about how you could do some shared “me time” and I am sure you all have plenty of ideas yourself.
Maybe you are going to just sit there and think, “This lady is definitely an oxymoron.”
I am Leanne Simpson from Balance Minder and the developer of Time Out Tai Chi, an award finalist in the Australian Fitness Awards. I work with clients that are managing their self-care around their chronic pain. I help them change to their mindset, find organisation and focus, and then take action to stop the pain talk.
By the way, I would love to know what you would do for shared me time.
Put your comments in the blog.
Cheers. Thank you. Bye. L.